Pee on the right tree, and your life changes.

Detours aren’t planned. Not by us travelers, anyway.

A true detour is a wild card. It takes you somewhere you never planned on going.

So, in the spirit of true “detouring,” I set out on this issue’s road trip with an open mind. No specific destination this time – just a full tank of gas, two cherry limeades, a Red Bull, bottled water and my worn-out travel atlas.

At noon Thursday – exactly when I was supposed to be in English class reading Steinbeck – I was driving to Iowa instead.

“Life is short. Take detours.”

The first thing you notice about Iowa is the absence of restrooms for hundreds of miles at a time. You’ll pass towns with names like “Waterville,” “Tanktown” and “Pedee,” but you won’t see a bathroom in any of them.

The second thing you’ll notice is a lone tree next to the highway whispering “pee on me” because you brought way too much to drink. Forty (or so) road trippers have peed on that tree.

Most of them will tell you there’s something inspiring about that frantic leak. As you’re shifting back and forth in mid-urination to stay hidden from traffic, you stop and enjoy that long overdue relief – nirvana for travelers. At that exact moment, if you listen closely enough, you’ll hear another whisper float down from the branches above you.